Travel Notes

April 29

2005-04-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

April 29 – We are now in the dénouement of our journey; a flurry of lunch and dinner invitations, final meetings and good byes before we leave Sunday. Both Anne and I have increasingly wistful feelings of leaving.

Late this afternoon, we were on our way to Ashik’s home to share dinner with his family. Shortly underway, we began seeing school children lined along the sidewalks, then adults, more and more. The children wearing various coloured uniforms denoting their schools, the women adorned in their brilliantly hued attire and the older men wearing the traditional Nepali hat, Tope, gave the grey afternoon rainbows of light and dark. Everyone was waving a national flag and Raju explained the King was due to return from his sojourn to Indonesia and the public were showing their support and respect by greeting his arrival. We hadn’t travelled far when we were directed to a detour; the only road to Ashik’s house was closed to maintain security for the King’s motorcade. Raju found a place to park the car and Anne and I decided we may as well join the throngs welcoming home their leader. No sooner had we found our place in the crowd when thunder began to roll and lightening flashed as the sky darkened. Told that the King would be driving by in a matter of minutes, we bravely stood as big drops of rain began falling. Slowly, lazily, intermittently at first, teasing us into believing it would be innocently short. A cool wind came snapping and whipping, the rain increased and we knew then this afternoon’s weather had an attitude. We tried to cross the street back to our car, but were held in place by patrolling policemen. At this point, we were 30 minutes late for dinner; even by Nepali time, we were still respectable. But we were also getting very cold and judging by the looks of each other, decidedly soggy too. Looking around we realized we were the only Caucasians as far as we could see. The Nepali being way more devoted to their King than either Anne or I were mostly still curbside, craning their necks waiting patiently for a hopeful glimpse of their sovereign. We opted for cover and looking behind us, we saw some shops with small over hangs. Still wet and cold at least we were more or less out of the rain (mostly less when the wind gusted rain into our minimal shelter). For the first time since being here, I felt my sense of humour slipping into an attitude similar to the darkened sky. And so we waited “a few more minutes” for the King. After 45 minutes, the motorcade appeared, slipped quickly past, dark tinted windows preventing even a shadowed profile. So much anticipation, so long a wait in the wet and cold, all borne in good spirit and jovial kinship (except for me). The motorcade disappeared around the corner, signalling the masses of people, cars, busses, motorcycles, tuk-tuks (cabs) to attempt escape from the pending traffic jam. In the end, our 30-minute ride was over 2 hours and we were very late for dinner even by Nepali time. But gracious and accepting as Nepalis are, they have an expression, “ke garne?” – what to do? The delightful duo of Nepali time and ke garne allows for most anything to occur in any manner of time and no dignity is lost, no ire is raised. Perhaps a slight shrug and unless quite serious, almost always a smile.

So we never saw the King and eventually we had a delicious dinner and pleasant conversation with Ashik, Shandra their son and niece. Ashik showed us pictures of the first adoption he completed in 1998. Ashik, the Canadian adoptive mother and her friend trekked into the mountains to meet the family and receive the child. Fortunately for our clients, the families now come down to Kathmandu.

April 30

2005-04-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

April 30 – Our last full day here; a good bye with Rina and family of the Children Welfare Centre, each grateful for our life’s path intersecting with the other’s. We will bring home photographs of two beautiful (and very delightful) children available for adoption, and we look forward to an enriched working relationship with Rina and her orphanage.

We also met with our client Linda and her friend one more time. They are making arrangements to visit the birth family’s village, Sindhupalchok. Anne and I have a clearer understanding of the adoption procedure at this end now that we had the opportunity to work with Linda and Ashik in process. She promises to visit us with Hari once she returns.

Then off for a visit to Ram’s home. It rained hard all night and Ram’s house is situated at the end of a very long unpaved road. Road, unpaved, heavy rain and traffic make for interesting navigating contours. Needless to say, Raju was negotiating not only deep mud holes, but the eely mud was not unlike snow with an under layer of ice. At one point, our trusty vehicle slid sideways, almost into a tall pile of bricks stacked and awaiting construction. Our usually unflappable (and Hindu) driver said “Jesus Christ!” but again, with the enigmatic Nepali smile in place. Ram too, was grinning and laughing. Wending our way to Ram’s house from our momentarily stuck vehicle was rather interesting too. We arrived with our sandals caked in gooey mud, and unceremoniously had cold water scooped from a bucket and dumped over our feet which only diluted the mud into a more liquid mess. Oh well, ke garne! We met Ram’s wife, twin 8-year-old boys and a couple of other relatives and had another delightful Nepali meal. Before long, we were on our way back to the hotel.

Sorting, packing, another meeting and then off to bed with genuine sadness that our time here is so near to complete. Saying goodbye to this mystical, magical, troubled land and its wonderful, sincere people feels emotionally wrenching. We have met and befriended so many wonderful people here. They touched our hearts, opened our eyes and broadened our minds. We will come home much richer than when we arrived. If you open yourself to these people, their warmth and generous essence emanating with gentle strength finds the way to your soul. Thank you Nepal and your people; we saw, experienced and learned more than can be expressed.

April 28

2005-04-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

April 28 – Today we met with the vice president of one of Kathmandu’s Rotary Clubs. I first met Sidhi on the plane from Bangkok. I found him compassionate and serving in his philosophy towards all people and as if he read my thoughts, he shared that he is a devout Buddhist. He listened with genuine interest as I explained why I was coming to Nepal. Sidhi described various projects his rotary has initiated to help the underprivileged, gave me his card and invited me to contact him during my stay. We agreed we have similar mandates and that partnering is an advantage to manifesting ideas.

Over tea in his home this morning, we talked more of the needs of the underprivileged and the privations of the desperately poor. I described the hill village and the dire need for food, water, medical attention and clothes all before education can really even be a consideration. Anne spoke of assisting one of the orphanages with we whom we have chosen to work.

Sidhi talked of Nepali politics and economics and we discussed religion. He suggested that Anne and I attend a rotary meeting this very evening to present our concerns, but we already had an invitation to dinner. We will prepare information packages for the rotary on both the hill village and the orphanage. Our networking is already producing results.

April 27

2005-04-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

April 27 - Ram, Raju and I left this morning for the village in which Ram was born, Angutar. As we ascended higher into the mountains, whether I was looking up, across or down, terracing dominated the landscape with houses and huts dotting the view. Toasted wheat and lush primary green created a luxurious carpeted effect covering the giant earthen steps. With little effort, I could imagine clans of royal Titans navigating their way up the precipitous slopes. As my eyes wondered further, hazy monoliths of Himalayan Mountains came into focus. I am sure topography, climate and physics could explain the ethereal mist shrouding the clear definition of their spectacular form. But for me, it was gossamer watercolours ranging from mauve through pale blue grey that muted the jagged and smooth forms. Such is the beauty of this mystical country.

On we drove for several hours, through various military checkpoints watching for Maoists. Quite a ways out of Kathmandu, we saw evidence of Maoist handiwork. What had been a new car was a charred chassis off to the side of the road and a police station that had been bombed.

Several weeks ago, Ram received word that there is a family in the village who want their little girl to be adopted so that she may have a better life. This village and the people are self-sustaining. People own land, children go to school and those that aren't working the land have other jobs. There is food and they share when someone is in need. Even though the girl's family is not as poor as many in Nepal, they know that there is so much more in the world and they are eager for their daughter to have the opportunities they cannot imagine.

After the most spine jarring ride on a road that looked worse than the boulder strewn riverbed I walked yesterday, we arrived at Ram's parents' house. The view was Asian pastoral, the air clean and sweet, the sounds of birds and insects pleasant and the quiet chatter of people distantly audible. No traffic, no yelling, no un-natural sounds or smells. The people and their physical surroundings imbued peace, quietude and beauty. I had a strong feeling of a very large extended family as I let myself blend into their day.

We were told the girl would be in school, which was a short walk further on past Ram's house. I visited two primary classrooms and then created quite a commotion as I passed the girls' upper grade rooms. Although they have seen Caucasians before, it is not very often one comes to their school. As it was lunchtime, they asked if we were hungry and brought us a small dish of what looked like brown sugar. Nepali usually eat with their right hand, but even Ram was at a loss not only as to what it was, but how to eat it. So our concerned hosts quickly proffered small pieces of paper just torn for our use. We semi folded the paper to scoop up a bit and pour it into our mouths. It had an "interesting" taste, but I did not care for it. We were told it was ground wheat fried in oil (I think it was a little burnt tasting for me, although I felt reassured when Ram left half of his too.) All of the children are provided a serving of this for lunch.

Returning to Ram's house, the mother and daughter arrived. The 4-year-old daughter understood who I was and asked if she could come home with me then. It was hard to resist the beautiful, intelligent, dark eyes beseeching me. Ram talked with the mother at length and then it was time to eat again. Ram's mother prepared a delicious meal of rice with ghee, curried mushrooms with whole dried chilies (hot!) and curd.

Time to leave and our trusty vehicle was a 5-minute walk through rice paddies and bush. We set out with me dawdling behind absorbed in thought. All of a sudden Ram and Raju were shouting in Nepali. They were first concerned and then laughing at my surprise as I absent mindedly approached a huge water buffalo. Fortunately he was more interested in munching on the small amount of foliage between the two of us than charging me (which they are apparently known to do). They really are handsome beasts. A smile as we left Angutar.

April 26

2005-04-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

April 26 – Ram, Khada Parshad (our guide), Sagar’s wife and I set out this morning at 5 am for a 3 ½ hour drive and a 3 hour hike into the hills (anything less than 10,000 feet is a hill to a Nepali) to see a completely primitive village and visit the families. These hill people are the families whose fathers were inadvertently mistaken for Maoists and killed. To use the word village conjures an image in my mind’s eye of a cluster of homes (however primitive) fairly close in proximity. Not so – the dwellings were spread over quite a large area so that we would stop and actually settle in for our visit and then pick up and move on to the next. There is no electricity, phone, plumbing or water. They live in one-room thatch roof huts with dirt floors. During the monsoons, the roofs leak. They have little clothing and sleep in the dirt on the ground, wet or dry. There is disease, filth, parasites, little food and for some, I was the first white person they had ever seen. Ram explained each time why I was present and then their fear and apprehension settled. One family asked Ram if I would please take one of their children home with me. From family to family we moved and each time I was physically and emotionally shocked, even after all I have witnessed during the past two weeks. I have read, watched, and heard stories about conditions such as I saw today, but it is a visceral jolt to come face to face with a child maybe 4 years old looking after her two younger siblings. One of her siblings was an infant in a fabric sling with a string attached with which she maintained a continuous rocking motion. The other was maybe two years old, sleeping in the dirt, covered with flies, wearing nothing but a ragged filthy shirt. Their bellies were distended from parasites and no one was around save a couple of scrawny chickens and emaciated goats.

There is such disparity in this world when I consider where and how I live in juxtaposition to the hill families. I think that I shall never forget what I saw today and I hope that I never again take for granted what I have that so much of the world does not.

Namaste

2005-04-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

It seems only fitting to provide a complete explanation for the greeting associated with this culture - Namaste.

Namaste is the traditional way of greeting in Nepal and India. The action of joining the palms of both hands together in from of your chest (over the heart) symbolizes "I recognize the God in you." It is the philosophy of oneness, that you and I are one in mind and heart. Practicing Namaste opens our hearts to spread love, peace, bliss and the ability to show how we can help and serve each other.

The practice of Namaste with clear intentions helps to develop faith in Ahimso (non-violence) which is the greatest Dharma.

Nature

2005-04-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

April 23 and 24 - The last two nights, we have been treated to amazing thunder and lightning storms. The thunder seems to roll forth from the bowels of the earth rather than the heavens above; it is so incredibly deep and resonant. Long and continuous peels - rolling down from the Himalayas and across the valley must enhance the depth of sound. There was literally no break in thunder for several hours. Crescendo, decrescendo, kettledrums and bass drums from Creation’s Orchestra and we had front row seats. Of course no thunder worth its weight shows up without lightning and so we had it all. Quadrants of sky exploding in halogen light and then dramatic vertical needles of lightning piercing through the night sky straight down to the earth.

And then the rain. Giant drops of rain, only a few at first, hit the soft powdered dirt of the streets. Each raindrop creating its own fantasia of dancing dust, leaving a dark dimple. It rained, but not the real monsoon type rain and only for as long as the thunder. Soon the show was over and the next morning came quiet, dry and pleasantly dust free.

The power went out the first night and Anne and I retreated to our favourite bookstore a few doors down from the hotel. They ran a small generator providing light and there is a delightful garden restaurant in the back. So we gathered some books, drank tea and read.

We were warm, dry and very comfortable. Where were the homeless? Who calls home the street urchins?

April 23

2005-04-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

April 23 - Today we visited the Children Welfare Centre. They are a perfect fit for CHOICES to have as a sister agency, partnering in adoption. It is run by women, which says a lot in an old patriarchal culture.

The foundation of their philosophy is to love and respect every child and to be a home and family for each of them. Most of the children are too old to be adopted, but the goal is to see them through college and on to self sufficiency. The children are clean, well behaved, open and friendly, proof of the integrity and actualization of their intentions.

The building and grounds are extremely sparse by our standards, but not in comparison to most of the others we have seen. Everything is clean, well organized and in many ways, they are attempting to self sustain. They grow a lot of their own vegetables, sew the children' school uniforms and will be moving soon to just outside of Kathmandu where it is less expensive to live. They have purchased property and the new home is nearly complete.

As we approached the gates, we could see the heads and faces of about 50 children, waiting to meet us. We were greeted with the traditional Namaste and big smiles. One child came to me and one to Anne. Each presented us with a marigold garland and placed it around our neck. This was done one at a time to allow all the children to clap and honour us individually. It was very touching and Reena explained that in Nepali culture, marigolds are offered as a demonstration of respect.

CWC sometimes has the good fortune to have a volunteer to help with the various chores and needs of the children. Gino is an Australian man who has been with them for 3 months and will be here for another 6-8 weeks. He would like to stay longer, but is unable to get his visa extended. He is hoping to return to volunteer more time at CWC. He says the children are very loved and well looked after. This was Anne's and my perception, but is validating to have him confirm these important issues.

We are very excited about adopting children through this orphanage as well as fund raising on their behalf. We will also attempt to find sponsors for individual children.

As we spend more time here talking, reading and listening, we learn that all that we see is still only the surface of some of the privation endured by children. What is heart warming as well as heart breaking is to see their warm, friendly spirits continue to shine, a sign of strength that is humbling.

April 22

2005-04-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

April 22 – Today we met Ashik, our client (who flew into Kathmandu yesterday) and her child with his birth family at the Chief District Office. This is the family’s 10th child. They are extremely poor and live up toward Everest. They are very handsome people, perhaps with some Tibetan blood, judging by their facial structures. One can still see beautiful, elegant facial features of the mother and the father is most handsome. They are in their 40’s. The baby is 3 months old and nurses from his mother. He is adorable. His very short hair, sleeveless shirt exposing bare arms and the way he was wrapped in a colourful shawl created a baby monk image. The image was completed by his calm, wise face and the way in which he serenely smiled while looking at me.

The Chief District Office sounds very official and I am sure that it is by Nepali standards and certainly it is important for CHOICES and our clients. But the grounds, building, rooms, furnishings and filing system (I use this term very loosely) are anything but official. Old, scattered, sometimes completely absent, the office equipment and environment is much like its street counterpart. Having said that, in a most casual manner with all of us milling around in the office of the “Helping Desk,” Ashik compiled the appropriate papers in the appropriate order for Linda and the family to sign, overseen by the Helping Desk gentleman. As many Nepali are illiterate, thumb printing is used in place of a signature. In Linda’s case, she signed as well. After some time (Nepali time), we all moved to the room next door. Though there was no title on the desk, one just knew that we were before the commissionaire or magistrate. He checked ID, photos, dates etc carefully and then spoke directly and at length to both the child’s mother and father asking two separate questions. I asked Ashik to translate. The first question pertained to whether or not they had full understanding of all that was to transpire and did they in fact want this for themselves and their child, were they happy with this decision. Looking steadily at the District Officer, they both shook their head affirmatively. The second questions regarded whether or not they felt there would ever be any reason at a future date that would create a change of heart or mind for them. The parents continued t hold the officer’s gaze and communicated “no.” He stamped and initialled several of the document pages of the file and handed the file to Ashik. Our time was over, our business at this stage completed.

Our driver had no idea why we had come to the Chief District Office. Unsolicited, he spent some time with the family while we were waiting outside of the offices. He related to Anne that the family is very happy about placing their son with Linda – that this is all very good. And long before we even proposed this child, Ashik spent many hours with the family, talking, questioning and explaining. Only when he was sure they were clear in their decision, did he contact us. And this happened because the family sought his help; the mother’s cousin had placed one of her children more than 4 years ago.

Our time today ended with wonderful, warm feeling that at least one Nepali child will know a life beyond poverty. Anne and I also saw deeper into the Nepali process, which is always helpful. Sometimes when we send a client’s inter country dossier from our office, it feels as though they fly off into a black hole. Well, maybe in some ways, that isn’t so far off after all.

We are learning more and more about this old culture. Nepal has many unique qualities and customs that are quite important, yet so subtle. We must be always alert, sensitive and very patient to garner their trust and respect. Honest Nepali are not aggressive and even considering cultural differences, are easy to communicate in a warm, easy, open, sharing manner. We have seen much pain and sadness, but have also been blessed many times over in our relations here.

April 21

2005-04-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

April 21 – It is interesting how our time in Kathmandu has unfolded in a series of meeting people in various roles of authority and positions and viewing several orphanages. Through no prior knowledge, we have visited three orphanages since we have been here and each one has left us more bereft than the previous one. Today Ashik accompanied us as we visited Bal Mandir, a government orphanage and home to about 300 children. The grounds were once the palace of a malevolent king of about 80 years ago who was over thrown. Our guide compared the king to Hitler. One could see the structural beauty of the buildings still intact, but time, serious overuse and lack of maintenance have taken their toll. We walked through the many rooms and were particularly struck by two rooms. The first had children probably from a few months to around 3 years of age. There were perhaps two dozen children and no caregivers to be seen. Some cribs held three babies; other babies were lying on the floor. Those that could walk immediately approached us and reached out wanting nothing more than human touch. The other room was the nursery where the abandoned newborns were being cared and tended. It is impossible to not become angry against a bureaucratic system that admits to taking years to place orphaned children into homes and see them subsist with little or no attention, affections or stimulation. Who knows, or can even guess, how old these infants will be by the time (if ever) they are placed with a family.

Most of the older children were more active and were running around in pairs, entertaining themselves. But even then, we saw others lying on a bed and one on the floor in the hallway, staring at nothing, no acknowledgement of anyone or anything.

The walls were starkly bare and there were NO toys to be seen anywhere for any age other than a few in the preschool classroom. The older children are sent to school, but then one wonders (doubts) if their homework is monitored, or if assistance is available for those needing it. Children from the orphanage attending school feel singled out because they do not have adequate supplies or lunch boxes like the other children.

The kitchen is a small, narrow room with 4 gas burners covered by huge aluminum cauldrons. Rice and vegetables were boiling furiously.

What more can be said????

April 20

2005-04-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

April 20 – General Observations. We have several modes of ascertaining information regarding the political climate here in Nepal. Our own observations, the media, speaking with Nepali people and talking with trekkers returning from various remote regions. All are as diverse as possible. As a tourist, we have spent all of our time to date in and around Kathmandu. Life moves into and out of each day much the same as the day before. Businesses (stalls) open, people stand around and sit together talking and drinking tea, vendors competitively vie for your patronage and traffic moves in a continuous crazy maze of almost comical order. It all seems to work and it works on Nepali time. Nepali time is akin to Mexico time or Maui time. People wear watches, but time is only meant as an approximate reference – so set appointments are actually 30-60 minutes, give or take. No one gets up tight about it. Everything is done a laid back way, whether it is walking along the street with horns honking everywhere, cooking food for customers, construction or gardening – it is carried out with an ease and slowness that is the antithesis of the North American, frenetically driven way of life. By the way, everything is executed by hand here, including road building.

Back to politics – Anne and I have seen no political signs or activity in Kathmandu, save for the occasional soldier or policeman. Trekkers we have spoken with all report quiet encounters with the Maoists demanding money and then providing receipts so that if you meet other Maoists, you can present your receipt and avoid further payment. Trekkers are obliged to pay the Nepali government various fees depending on their area of choice and the Maoists consider the Nepali hills their area, thus justifying their demand of payment.

The third mode of information for us is an April Asian edition of Time magazine with the cover story “Rebel Nation – Inside the Maoists’ Was for Nepal.” The coverage depicts a very dark scene of untrained and inexperienced teenage boys and girls toting old and varied arms with little ammunition. They are fanatic in their exuberant belief that what they are doing is not only good for all Nepali people, but they will take over the world. We read that they muscle the villagers for food and money and that people are randomly killed. The article mentions acts of kidnapping, torture and murder. There is mention of cities besieged, markets, prisons and police stations bombed. There is a photo of an army tank in the city. No mention of which city or when.

Talking with a Nepali businessman with whom we have become friends brings yet another perspective. He says 80% of the village people support the Maoists and 70% of the people in Kathmandu, as he does. He believes that they are taking from the rich to give to the poor. That his experience of them when he visits his village is positive. They eat and laugh together and there is much talk. Promise of relief from poverty is intoxicating to the masses and the Maoists portray themselves as saviors of the common folk.

Nepal was democratically governed until early this year at which time King Gyanendra dismissed the Parliament, arrested many students and journalists and senior politicians were placed under house arrest. The right to assemble was revoked and all communication was shut down. At this time, communication is restored except for all cell phones, in order to curtail the Maoists’ communicating with one another, particularly in the remote hill areas where there are no phones. The King restricted the media from criticizing the present government in any way or to even mention the Maoists. The King says this is what the people want and that the army will do “whatever is required” to restore order.

Media reports such as these, true or not, have seriously backlashed against Nepal’s tourism industry, which was down 43% this February. The economy is suffering terribly and so an already poor family becomes poorer.

So what to believe??? There is no denying there are serious problems. It is just difficult if not impossible to discern the truth of the political environment in Nepal.

April 19

2005-04-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

April 19 – Today was the most challenging to date for Anne and me. I thought I had psychologically prepared myself as well as armoured my heart, however, I now believe that is not always possible. To see 65 children, parentless and living in extremely impoverished conditions is challenging to say the least. Some of the children sleep on their bed platforms with not even a mattress. Mattresses for most Nepali people are only an inch or so of fabric covered cotton batt. Some of the children had sheets, other not. The building needs a lot of work such as basic painting, door and window repair, shelving to name but a few. Basic cleanliness is difficult to maintain because both the front and back play areas are merely fine dirt. Hygiene is a very serious, maybe even dangerous problem. The children who are old enough to be in school have all passed to the next level, but in order to re-register, they must have uniforms and theirs are all outgrown and/or worn out. Without education, there is simply no hope.

There is a disturbing need for orphanages here. One needs only walk around or drive and wherever you are, wherever you look, there are children, children, children. Culturally speaking, every family wants a boy, just as many other cultures do, to carry on the family name. But most families have 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 children, numbers way beyond their means. Many Nepali live in serious third world conditions. Though the children are with family and in their own culture, they will not be educated and will likely continue on, living in the cycle of impoverishment. There is a dire need for financial aid, clothing and bedding donations, school and art supplies, volunteer work and yes, adoption. The children are beautiful, gentle kids and it is nothing short of heartbreaking to see them in these conditions. It doesn’t help to come from the richest of worldly environments either. Everyone should see what Anne and I saw today. Anything we do will help – everything we do will still fall short.

April 18

2005-04-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

April 18 – This morning we had breakfast with Ram and Sajar. Both are involved in Child Environment Nepal and Sajar is the chairman. He is wise, gentle, well educated and travelled and clear in his communication. He explained how CEN came into existence. In a village outside of Kathmandu, road improvements were underway utilizing the men of the village for labour. The military monitored activity in the hills via helicopter and as these men had never experienced such a loud, totally foreign object with ear thudding sound, they dropped their tools to run for safety. The military, thinking the innocent men were Maoists, killed all 15 men with a bomb, subsequently leaving 15 fatherless families. Sajar and Ram along with a group of other businessmen came together and organized a small, private orphanage for the children of the families. They range in age from 5 years to 12 years of age. The men support the orphanage solely by their own means and intend to raise, educate and care for the children until they are able to care for themselves. Although it does not appear that adoption is a possible choice for these children, we are presently in discussion with Sajar, exploring whether we might adopt other children through their organization at a later date.

Later in the afternoon, Sajar’s brother and Ram joined us for the ride out to CEN. The children were finished with school for the day and were waiting to meet us. CEN is located about 30 minutes out of Kathmandu. Within only a couple of minutes of driving, Anne and I were the only Caucasians to be seen. I noticed this, not because of any discomfort on my part, but because I am an intense people watcher. If anything, I was staring at them rather than they at me. The Nepali are warm and accepting as well as very respectful.

Arriving at CEN, we walked past the school and into the home. It is situated atop a hill with other homes and surrounded by views of both green and brown fields, and other dwellings and buildings of various sizes and quality of structure. The orphanage is concrete, extremely sparse and quite clean by Nepali standards. The children are polite, healthy in appearance and good-natured. They were still in their school uniforms. We gave the teacher / caregiver the overstuffed suitcase of clothing, shoes, toothbrushes, art supplies and antibiotic cream. Special thanks go to Valerie Noël and Debbie Kiiskila for the efforts and generous donations.

The manner in which these adults and children lie and learn about their lives is minimalistic beyond even the most extreme Western definitions of the word. Having said that, what is present is care, nurturing and the promise of a future. Sajar stated during one of our meetings that their primary concerns for the children are nutrition, health and once these are in place, the children can be educated. We were served sweetened tea, shown the other rooms and then chatted with some of the children. They loved seeing the digital photos we took and were all wearing the small Canadian flag pins by the time we left.

On a completely different note, while driving here and there, one startling but pleasant disparity is the number of gardens, small, lush colourful oases in amongst the rubble and poverty. An array of flowers, many of which are familiar to Canadian West Coast gardeners, offer respite from the sensory assaults of traffic, smog and over population, not to mention the oppression of third world living. This time of year, blooms include bougainvilleas, roses (with nary a blotch of imperfection), snapdragons, pansies, petunias, dahlias and geraniums to name a few, as well as some unfamiliar flowers. To see these in pots precariously perched on top of rickety railings and poking out of piles of rock and dust is really delightful.

Later in the afternoon, Anne and I were sitting on our hotel terrace and from nowhere, 2 monkeys arrived and sat on the edge of a low overhang near us. Before any hotel personnel noticed, one of the monkeys slipped down off the roof, over the counter and deftly liberated 2 cherry tomatoes. Of course, we were quite amused and entertained by their antics, but they are considered very pesky here.

Some observation about Nepali food – The word “buff” keeps popping up on menus no matter where we choose to eat. So you might see “buff chilli” or “buff burger” offered. We knew that it could not have the same connotation as our culture, so we inquired and were told (of course) it referred to buffalo. I will let you know how it tastes. I tried Yak cheese which is good but unassuming, something akin to Edam.

Mo-mos are Nepali dumplings; bland, vegetarian or chicken filled, something like Dim Sum, and served with hot pepper sauce. Nepali cooks will tackle any ethnic food and produce a seasonable if not good rendition. Anne and I are generally spoiled when it comes to good food, but I imagine after a month of trekking and a diet of dal bhaat (rice and lentils) and chapattis, the food in Kathmandu tastes pretty sumptuous.

One last note before signing off – I was quite confused during our first few business discussions. While describing something of the Canadian side of the adoption process, I was met with Ashik, Maya or Sajar shaking their heads “no.” After a few fumbling reiterations, I realized they were I fact acknowledging and agreeing with what I was saying and that what denotes no or disagreement in our culture is simply the opposite here. A little crazy making those first couple of jet lagged days.

More on Nepal

2005-04-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

April 16 – Today was an amazing, very full day. After breakfast, we left the hotel with Anne and I sitting behind our driver in our very mini van. This allowed for a modicum if not false sense of security, although Raju has proved himself to be very good driver. As already mentioned, Nepali streets are a rather unique experience, however my faith in these peaceful people remains steadfast in spite of their seemingly suicidal and sometimes absurdly aggressive navigations. As multiple lanes are only vaguely acknowledged, it is common while driving to turn one’s attention away from the people and buildings along the roadside only to see an oncoming vehicle DIRECTLY in front of you. “Nepali Chicken” I call it, only nobody loses as you are both spared a head on collision.

We drove out of Thamel and went to Pashupatinath. This site is on the sacred river Bagmati and the terms sacred and river take on new definitions. At this time of year before the monsoons, the water is shallow, muddy and littered with debris. Still, it is used for ritual bathing and is a part of the cremation ceremonies that take place along its shores on a daily basis.

As we walked along the causeway, we could see the cremation ghats, concrete platforms laid with firewood, on the other shore. The dead are wrapped in colourful fabric, covered in fresh cut marigolds and after a short, simple ceremony, laid on top of the pyre. Small stooks of straw are soaked in the river laid across the body and lit. As the wet straw smolders, children casually rake to shore the ceremoniously discarded flowers and clothes of the deceased. Life, death and mortality are calmly accepted, quietly acknowledged and publicly viewed. Although there was a sudden confluence of tourists, other Nepali watched too.

I noticed what I assumed to be a fakir, but whatever he was, colourful and dramatic were part of his personae. His hair, silver gray, wildly haloed his white painted face. Pinky stripes coloured his skin-tight clothes. The crooked staff on which he leaned matched his rickety, wiry body. I busied myself extricating my camera and some rupees to give him, but he had vanished when I turned to ask if I could take his picture. Darn!

Many steps leading above the river cut through crypt like tombs in various stages of beauty and decay. Looking down, we could see a bridge crossing the river and dividing the common side from the side where royalty are cremated. The slightly more ornate buildings behind the ghats denoted the only difference, other than the obvious tradition of caste division. And this is slowly leaving the culture.

Off to Bhaktapur, the capital of Kathmandu Valley during the 14th – 16th centuries and a world heritage site. The ride there and back was choking with dust and fumes. Windows rolled down for particulated air was only a slightly better choice than windows rolled up and no air.

In contrast to some of the impoverished sites we saw on the way to Bhaktapur, the heritage site was clean, maintained and there were visible signs of improvements under way. We saw scaffolding constructed of large diameter bamboo poles. A pleasant change, Bhaktapur is traffic free enhancing its timelessness as we walked on cobblestone streets. Beautiful, intricate stone and wood carvings are everywhere – houses, temples, shrines. We found our way to a Thangka art school. Thangkas are traditional Tibetan Buddhist paintings of religious and ceremonial subjects. The general formats are usually mandalas, or wheel of life, and the life of Buddha. They are stunningly detailed and not only visually rich, but hold profound explanations of the meanings of the complexities of life cycles.

Returning to our hotel, we met with the chairman of a small private orphanage. It was our initial meeting of shared introductions and general overviews. Monday we will meet again and hopefully see the children.

At the end of this day, I am touched by the beauty and gentleness of the Nepali people. Their history, geography, religion, art and all the accompanying physical manifestations are palpably spiritual, but it is the people from which one learns the most. Here, Buddhists and Hindus walk hand in hand, drink tea together, play together and worship in separate temples that are built at the top of the same stairway, literally side by side. They share one another’s holidays and accept and respect the other’s ways. These are lessons our families if not our world would do well to learn.

Sunday in Nepal

2005-04-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

April 17 – Toady we saw Swayambhunath or Monkey Temple, so named because of the many monkeys inhabiting the hill on which the temple stands. By the 13th century, it was already an important Buddhist shrine. Many statues and figurines and various stonework scenes are to be seen. Endless steps lead to the top of the hill and besides the typical presence and blend of both Buddhist and Hindu temples, there is an interesting stone “Dorje” accompanied by a bell. Dorje is Tibetan for thunderbolt and symbolizes male force and the bell symbolizes female wisdom. Prayer wheels, prayer flags and symbolical representations of the stages of life and journey to Nirvana carry meaning for religious use and tourist viewing alike.

While climbing the great stairway, we saw the delightful sight of young Nepali children sliding down the smooth concrete sides of the steps. They flattened 2 litre pop bottles, sat on the creative “bottle slides” and away they went. Further along, as I turned to look at a shrine, I laughed as I spotted one of the many monkeys perfectly adorning the top centre roof, looking shamelessly like a mischievous gargoyle.

We then drove to Patan which has four Buddhis stupas said to have been built around 250 BC. Three are grass mounds now, but one remains fairly well preserved. They are Kathmandu Valley’s oldest Buddhist monuments. Again, like Bhaktapur, many old, beautiful temples grace the area. Nepali architecture has a multi roofed, pagoda style as well as some Indian influence in design.

Today was the festival, Chaitra Desain, dedicated to Durga, a bloodthirsty goddess. Although principally Hindu, Buddhists also celebrate it. On this day, goats and buffaloes are sacrificed. We avoided watching this ceremony; only to have 2 men carry the beheaded buffalo directly past us later as we were casually strolling down one of Patan’s streets. The Nepali people utilize the entire sacrificial animal. Skin is made into clothing; all meat (including the head) is eaten. The larger bones are carved into various pieces of jewelry, ornaments and bowls and sometimes stained in vibrant colours.

When we returned to our hotel, Ashik Karki was waiting to meet us. Ashik is a Nepali lawyer and head of the Nepali Law Association. He has assisted CHOICES and our clients with adoptions of Nepali children for the past 5 years. It was good to finally meet the man that has helped us so much. We learned much about the Nepali side of documentation and legal process. Our discussions provided us with more clarity and deeper understanding of Nepali beau racy. This will enable us to better share the process our clients will enter once in Nepal.

Ashik will arrange an appointment for us to see the main Bal Mandir orphanage here in Kathmandu. There are 17 Bal Mandir orphanages throughout Nepal. All are government run and filled with children ranging in age from infant to ten years old.

At dinner time, we met with Maya and her family, including husband, 4 children, her half sister and brother-in-law. Dinner was spent learning about the orphanage Maya and her husband established ten years ago, “Children Welfare Home.” Over sixty children live at CWH. Maya is also a lawyer and has much experience in international adoption. She and her husband are very interested in partnering with CHOICES to find homes for their children. We will go to see their orphanage within the next few days.

Early Days in Nepal

2005-04-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Namaste,

Anne & I are here in Kathmandu, Nepal. The weather is warm and thankfully not humid. Yesterday we spent some time walking around the Thamel area, getting used to being here.

How can one know or ever be prepared for the amazing and wonderful cultural and geographical differences. . .

Goats on top of one another in the back seat of a compact car taxi - driver and passenger oblivious to our incredulous stares. I think I will walk, thank you.

A cow lying in the middle of the street, lazing contentedly, chewing its cud while cars, buses, trucks, kabuki cabs all motoring crazily past, generously around. Honking incessantly, no consideration given to lanes or right of way. Sometimes, peace is not quiet.

Toothless men squatting on the threshold of someone's abode - tiny doorway leading to a tinier darkness of home space.

A woman sitting on the steps of a shrine in the midst of a busy market square - huge breast exposed, baby sleeping in her arms, people milling and passing by.

Children following behind, gently poking a grubby finer into my back - "what is your name?" in rather clear English. Not asking for money, but practicing their second language.

A beautiful girl child leaning out of a narrow second story window, immediately poses and smiles when she sees my camera.

An elegant woman with finely chiseled, aquiline features, sewing machine whirring deftly guided fabric, children (hers?) playing at hand - cars driving past close enough to touch.

Giant Gordian knots of electrical wires, tentacles reaching every which way from belaboured poles, hanging almost within the reach of a tall Caucasian man. (I don't think there are tall Nepali men)

This is a sample of what we saw as we strolled through the narrow streets , wending our way through the maze of traffic and people.

More later . . . . .

One more day!

2005-04-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

Laura is arriving in Nepal today, and I will leave Delhi tomorrow morning. It has been a very interesting time in India, including the cows in the street. I have spoken with a number of people about adoption from India. There are some suppositions about the reasons why it has become so difficult. Apparently, there has been some suspicion about child trafficking, and children being bought from very poor families.

It is very hot here--97 F, but at least it is not yet the monsoon season!

India

2005-04-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

Anne, checking in from Delhi. I had dinner last night with a former Indian MP and Minister and we discussed the problems of adopting from India. He was very interested in my comments and said that he would follow up. Laura Thompson left for Nepal this morning and we will meet up on Saturday and keep you posted.

Nepal

2005-04-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

We completed the first leg of the journey. We leave Seattle in a couple of hours for a 12 hr. flight to Seoul and then an 8 hr. flight to New Delhi. Laura, please bring some of my business cards and don't forget the camera. Buy some more memory. See you soon, Anne

Orphanages

2005-04-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

Laura Thompson and I are just about done collecting items for the orphanages in Nepal. We now have soothers, diaper ointment, antibiotic lotions, underwear, clothing, shoes, art supplies (thanks to ECHO), and Canada pins. I leave in two days and Laura leaves on Tuesday. We hope to connect with two orphanages right away, and will explore other opportunities for adoption of Nepalese children by families in Canada.

-Anne Carin